


The Ivory Tower

by Meabd



Series: The Ivory Tower [1]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Ed being an utter shit, Grumman being old and senile, M/M, Mustang shaking in his boots, University AU, fucking academia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-22
Updated: 2016-03-22
Packaged: 2018-05-28 08:05:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6321601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meabd/pseuds/Meabd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU in which Roy is a new hire for Amestris University’s applied sciences department and Edward is a truth-bending little shit that likes to fuck with the new guys. Re-edited in anticipation of a third chapter coming out!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ivory Tower

        It was late, Roy was tired, and he had _massive_ amounts of work to do. With his freshly minted PhD, he’d found a post (by the grace of God alone) and he _needed_ his first class to go smoothly. Yes, the lesson plans were all written out, and yes he could probably teach organic chemistry in his sleep, but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t a nervous bundle of insomnia induced mania. That being said, the only thing to do at this point was to get some fucking coffee and muscle through his last bit of work. _Tomorrow’s the day of reckoning_ , he thought wryly, ducking out of the rain and into the welcoming warmth of Curtis Coffee House. 

        It being thirty minutes before close, he wasn’t at all shocked to find the place empty. It _was_ Sunday, after all, and the last night before term started ; odds are most of the students that lived in the area were off on one last bender. Roy approached the unmanned counter, glancing around for a barista. The messenger bag on his shoulder was biting into the already strained muscles of his back— _I’m way too old for these late nights._

        “Shit, sorry, how can I help you?” Roy was jolted from his reverie by a surprised expletive and a small blonde rushing back to the register. Bright gold eyes stared into dark blue ones and Roy felt his mouth go dry and his mind go blank. “Sir? Did you need something?” _Jesus christ stop checking out the barista Roy._

        “Yeah, I’ll have a large dark roast, no room for cream,” his voice did _not_ crack, goddammit, because he is a _man_. The smile that beamed out at him was like a ray of sunlight. 

        “Of course, _sir_. That’ll be three-forty. Late night?” Roy shrugged, shuffling around his pockets and pulling out a couple wet bills.

        “You could—” _ahem_ “—you could say that, yes.” _Wow, Roy. Good fucking job you lame asshole. What is this, amateur hour?_  

        The young man took Roy’s moist money— _is he checking me out?_ —and turned to get his much needed caffeine. “Balls. Um, we’re out of dark, but I can brew some more. Go have a seat by the fireplace and I’ll have it right out.” Roy frowned, he didn’t want to be _that_ guy.

        “No, no, it’s fine, I’ll take whatever you’ve got. You need to close up, I don’t want to keep you.” The man’s long blonde braid was tossed haphazardly over his shoulder with a careless half shrug as golden eyes raked over the shivering form of Dr. Roy Mustang.

        “You. Fireplace. Sit. You look like you’re freezing your tits off. Your coffee will be out in a minute.” Roy’s eyebrows shot up at the bossy tone, but he made no comment. It _would_ be nice to sit down out of the rain for a moment. It had absolutely nothing to do with the endearing quirk of the young man’s grin. Nope, _absolutely nothing_. He dragged himself over to the well-worn armchair and flopped down, pulling out his lecture notes for one last go through. The barista came out from behind the counter, humming absentmindedly to himself as he picked up chairs and placed them on top of tables. 

        “You aren’t from around here, huh?” That melodic voice broke through Roy’s concentration once more and he looked up from the crinkled notes.

        “No, I’m not. I got in last week from Maine.” The blonde nodded, going back to grab a broom and dustpan that were hanging by what must have been the kitchen door. 

        “New job?” He asked from across the room, voice only slightly raised. He seemed to have one of those magical voices, the ones just _made_ to command attention, all honey and warmth and something a little darker. Roy glanced down at his work and deemed it much less important than this incredibly hot young man.

        “Yeah. I’m starting at the university tomorrow. I teach biology and organic chemistry.” The blonde stopped sweeping, leaning the broom against the side of the cozy brick fireplace Roy found himself next to. 

        “You’re Roy Mustang, then?” Roy studied the young man’s face at length ; it was a small school, he was probably a major in the science department and heard about the new hire.

        “Yeah, I am. And you are? A student I presume.” That honeyed voice laughed softly at a joke Roy apparently wasn’t privy to. 

        “Nope. I’m not a student, though I like to audit classes sometimes just for the hell of it. My brother is in the PhD program, though. The name’s Ed, by the way.” He held out a hand, and Roy couldn’t seem to help but notice how frigid his palm was, even through the plastic glove. 

        “Your coffee is probably ready, I’ll go grab it for you,” Ed flicked open a pocket watch that had been hanging on his hip ( _how old fashioned_ , Roy thought). Gathering his affairs, the young professor followed the dangerously attractive Ed to the counter to retrieve his coffee. 

        “You know, my first class is tomorrow at noon. How about you audit _me_?” Roy’s smile turned flirtatious and he winked. But if Roy’s smile was flirtatious, Ed’s was downright _predatory_ as he handed over the steaming cup, managing to just barely brush their fingers together. 

        “I may just do that, _Doctor Mustang_ ,” Ed winked back, and Roy made a hasty retreat into the dark downpour, pleased with his apparent success. _Wait a minute... if he’s not a student, how old is he?_ Jesus Christ if Roy had just propositioned a minor he may as well turn in his resignation and go die in a hole—fraternising with one the doctoral candidate’s jailbait siblings would get around fast and would _not_ be looked kindly upon. Hopefully Ed would forget the whole thing and not show up. And also not mention it to his brother. Fuck. 

 

* * *

 

 

        Edward Elric sat down in front of his laptop, smelling of coffee and pastries. He flexed his mismatched fingers, smiling ruefully at his incredible luck—of _course_ Al would ask Ed to cover his shift _tonight_ of all nights. The world worked in mysterious ways. Ed cracked his neck and set out to draft an email to the surprisingly young, surprisingly hot new hire in his department. 

 

_Dr. Mustang,_

 

_I regret to inform you that Dr. Grumman has packed up for retirement early, and will not be available to meet you tomorrow. If you’d come by my office after your 8 am class we can get the necessary paperwork out of the way. I look forward to working with you in the future._

 

_Regards,_

 

_Dr. E. Elric, Applied Sciences Department Chair_

 

        Ed grinned to himself, hitting the send button and running through in his head every way he could fuck with the new guy during his normal ‘audition the newbs’ phase of the hiring process. Hopefully Mustang wasn’t a dick, he’d _hate_ to have to fire eye candy of his caliber. 

 

 

* * *

 

        Roy glanced at his watch as his students started filing into class. He was nervous, but not as much as he thought he’d be. Meeting the new department Chair had him a bit on edge—Dr. Grumman had explained his retirement, and said that he would be filling in for his successor, but that didn’t help the fact that Roy was feeling very off-kilter about the change in his first day plans. He liked the ageing professor, and was looking forward to having one last chat with Dr. Grumman before he left. What was even more daunting, however, was Dr. Elric’s reputation ; his wikipedia page was nothing more than a _long_ list of accomplishments and accolades, and the man had something like three PhD’s. Needless to say, Roy was starting to feel a little self conscious about his resumé. 

        Pushing all that to the back of his mind, Roy glanced at the time once more, put on his game face, and began class... And then five minutes later was summarily (and _rudely_ ) interrupted by the door of the lecture hall being kicked open by—oh _fuck_ was that Ed? That was Ed. The young man made no effort to be quiet as he ambled down to the front row, dropping lazily into the seat and setting down a steaming cup of coffee on the desk. He was dressed casually, in dark jeans, a white button up and a _very_ flattering leather jacket. It took only the barest moment for Roy to stop ogling and start _fuming_ —this kid who wasn’t even a student not only had the audacity to get him all hot and bothered, but _also_ to interrupt his very important first day. God, _fuck_ this brat. And not even literally. Roy shot a pointed glare at the young man before continuing his lecture. 

        The students, however, were very far from focused. Ed’s entrance had thrown the room into a tizzy and whispered conversations sprung up in his wake. Roy struggled to get through the rest of the syllabus before summarily dismissing the room, a mere thirty-two minutes into what was meant to be a two hour lecture on the basics of biochemistry. 

        As the students filed out, whispers turning into muted conversations, a small young woman dressed in pink approached Ed. “Al is _not_ going to be happy about this, you know.” He grimaced at her.

        “Oh shut up May.” She rolled her eyes and turned on the heel of her foot.

        “I’m not going to be the one to bail you out of the dog house _this_ time,” May quipped over her shoulder before retreating from the lecture hall. Ed remained seated with an expectant look on his face, apparently waiting for Roy. His golden eyes unflinchingly met Roy’s glare, the impertinent smile that tugged at the edges of his lips did nothing for Roy’s patience. 

        “What was that?” Roy grouched at Ed, picking up his papers so he wouldn’t have to look at the little shit.

        “You know the first day is usually just a reading of the syllabus, right? You wouldn’t have held their attention anyway. I did you a favour.” Ed replied conversationally, his light tone serving only to further annoy.

        “Oh shut it. You’re hardly the authority on first-day classes. And you _know_ I didn’t invite you to this lecture to be disruptive.” The brunette grabbed his overloaded messenger bag and headed for the door, not sparing a glance at the gorgeous—yet _oh_ so douchy—young man. 

        “That begs the question, _Dr. Mustang_ , why you invited me at all? I’m not a student,” Roy swallowed the lump in his throat. He was so screwed. Ed _must_ have tattled on the dirty old man scheming to get into underage pants. _Shitfuck_. 

        “You have a meeting with the chair next, right? Do you know where the office is?” Ed continued, close on Roy’s heels as he followed the nervous young professor out the door and sped up to meet his stride.

        “Yes, I—how do you know that?” Roy’s suspicious glare was met with an uneven shrug. This kid was trouble, through and through.

        “Oh that’s normally how things go around here. Come on, I’ll walk you there.” Roy’s pace increased, maybe with his short, stubby (lovely) legs the pint-sized bag of dicks would get the message and leave him alone. 

        “My meeting isn’t scheduled until the _end_ of my lecture, he won’t be expecting me.” Which was perfect, really, because in truth Roy actually had no idea where the office was ; a little extra time to find his way around was definitely appreciated (though not at the expense of his first lecture being cut short.)

        “Oh he’ll be there,” Ed assured him as they both turned a corner, only to be met with the rather comical image of Dr. Grumman trying to pick the lock of an office door. 

        “What the hell old man, you can’t just go breaking into people’s offices like that,” Ed’s tone was annoyed, and Roy stared at him open mouthed. _He couldn’t just—_

        “Oh Edward my boy! Good timing! I see you’ve met Roy?” _Wait. What?_ “I’ve left my chess set in the office and didn’t want to disturb your class audit, I thought I’d just let myself in.” Dr. Grumman smiled widely, ignoring the exasperated sigh of the young man at Roy’s shoulder. Ed shoved the ageing professor out of the way as he retrieved a hefty set of keys from his coat pocket.

        “You could have waited like a normal goddamn person, you know.” A sinking feeling began to settle deep in the pit of Roy’s stomach as Ed toed open the office door, stepping aside so that Dr. Grumman could waltz in. He went straight to the heavily loaded bookcase and pulled out a portable chess set. 

        “Looks like you wasted no time moving in. That excited to stop teaching, eh?” Ed winced before setting his coffee cup on the desk.

        “I had too many books for my office, and Al threatened to kill me if I didn’t free up some space at home. It was the perfect opportunity. Now will you please leave me the fuck alone so I can start this meeting?” Roy’s mouth was bone dry and he was doing a damn good impression of a fish out of water. “That is, if you don’t mind, _Roy_? I know it’s early.” He shook his head silently. 

        “I’ll leave you to it then, my boy. I hope you didn’t scare him too much,” Dr. Grumman laid a gentle hand on Roy’s shoulder, nudging him to sit in the plush seat next to his elbow, “don’t worry Dr. Mustang, he does this with everyone,” he parted with a jovial laugh and a conspiratorial wink. Ed flopped down behind the impressive mahogany desk as he arched one eyebrow at Roy, who was very sure he’d be out of a job  before the day was done. 

        “You’re... then... How _old_ are you?” Ed sighed, propping both of his feet up on the desk, not minding the stack of papers that were in the way.

        “Edward _Elric_ , at your service. I’m twenty-five.” Roy slumped down into the plush chair opposite Ed as he ran one hand through his already messy hair. 

        “I’m sorry—”

        “Hey,” Ed interrupted, “don’t sweat it. It’s like the old asshole said, I do this to all the new prof’s. I may hate teaching, but I _do_ care about the students... it’s the perfect way to vet our hires. How they handle bad situations is very important.” Stepping away from the situation, Roy could understand the logic : having someone in the department that looked young enough to pass off as a student would be beneficial in rooting out the professor’s that couldn’t cut it. That being said, Roy still wan’t all that pleased with the whole thing. 

        “So, just to clarify, I’m _not_ getting fired?” Ed’s cheerful face grew sombre and Roy mentally started tallying up how many more months he could live on ramen before scurvy would set in.

        “You can keep your job, but only if you agree to one thing.” The brunette’s ears perked up and he sat straighter in his seat. 

        “Come get coffee with me. Or dinner, whatever you prefer,” the smile that graced his lips was radiant, and Roy counted his blessings that this man _was_ in fact of legal age to consent. 

        “I’d be perfectly amenable to that, _Doctor_ Elric,” the grin that Roy returned was just as bright, and he found himself wondering what the university’s fraternisation rules were.

**Author's Note:**

> One shot that I might continue into multiple all in the same AU. So sue me, I get a hard-on for anyone with a PhD. 
> 
> A few things worth mentioning: One.) I'm a French major, and know nothing about science, so there will be no scienceing in this fic, and two.) would you all want the next instalment to be-
> 
> a. The coffee date  
> b. Department poker night at chez Elric  
> c. sick!Roy asks Ed to sub for him (lol double entendres) and Ed decides to fuck with him
> 
> Cast your votes in the comments below!
> 
> For those of you waiting on the continuation of Tequila, Rose and Cigarettes- fret not, for I AM still working on it. This is to tide you over.


End file.
